Yay for Fridays! Bread, bread and more bread! Has anyone ever added sour cream to their bread recipes (even something like banana bread)? It’s quite amazeballs what a little sour cream can do for it. It makes it just the perfect amount of moist!
And in breaking news, I hate that word but couldn’t think of anything else to describe the quality sour cream gives it. So live with it. Moist.
I once at a whole loaf of bread by myself. In one day. True story, I wouldn’t make that up. But I feel sort of justified because it was an Asiago cheese loaf from Panera and I swear they make their bread with magic because it is that fucking good! Trust me, you would have eaten the whole loaf too.
Anyway, I may or may not have also put away an entire bag of Goldfish and/or Cheez-Its in a day as well. Maybe one, maybe both. Maybe even on the same day. I also might have had terminal heartburn from it but that’s beside the point. The actual point is that when I make these homemade cheese crackers, I might just pull a Panera and eat them all myself, right when they come out of the oven.
Now there’s a mouthful for you! Which is exactly what I want to do with this – stuff my mouth FULL of it! It’s got all my favorite flavors PLUS it has bacon, so you know it’s gonna be a party in your mouth. Just invite the beer and you’re all set. Besides, it’s a holiday weekend, so go ahead, get your party on!
Kinda like pizza, you can pretty much put anything on/in a grilled cheese and it’s gonna be good. Damn good. And everyone knows I love bread and cheese like a fat kid loves cake. Wait… I love cake, am I the fat kid? Fuck me.
Oh well. This grilled cheese has extra goodness with extra cheese, of the cream kind. And as if saying cream wasn’t bad enough, it’s gonna be moist too.
All together now…ewwwwwwww.
That’s right people, we’re trailer trashin’ it up today! Git in the kitchen, kick off them shoes and slap open that there bag o’ Cheetos – we’s cookin’!
BROCCOLI WITH CHEETOS
via Craig Koketsu of New York City’s Park Avenue Winter
2 cups heavy cream
3 tbsp. minced garlic
2 tbsp. minced shallots
6 black peppercorns
1 bay leaf
1 1/2 cups grated aged Gouda
1/2 cup grated Parmesan
Kosher salt, to taste
1 1/4 lbs. (about 2 large heads) broccoli, cut into small florets, stems cut crosswise into 1/4″ slices
3 tbsp. extra-virgin olive oil
1 tsp. crushed red chile flakes
2 cups original Cheetos, crushed by hand
Make the cheese sauce: Heat cream, 2 tbsp. garlic, shallots, peppercorns, and bay leaf in a 2-qt. saucepan over medium-high heat. Cook, stirring often, until reduced by half, about 6 minutes. Remove pan from heat, stir in cheeses until melted, and season with salt. Set a fine strainer over a small saucepan and strain sauce, discarding solids. Set aside and keep warm.
Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil over high heat. Add broccoli and cook, stirring, until crisp-tender, about 3 minutes. Drain broccoli, transfer to a bowl of ice water, and let chill. Drain and transfer to paper towels to dry; set aside. Heat oil in a 12″ skillet over medium-high heat. Add remaining garlic and chile flakes and cook until fragrant, 1 minute. Add broccoli and cook, stirring often, until just subtly browned, about 6 minutes.
To serve, spoon cheese sauce evenly among 6 warm serving bowls or small plates. Top sauce with broccoli and a generous sprinkling of Cheetos. Serve immediately.
A thought crossed my mind this morning as I was writing this that I should change the name of this segment to ‘fat fuck friday’ because holy lord, after all these recipes, that’s exactly where I’m headed. But then my next thought was how incredibly booooooring life would be without all this
fat flavor. I mean, seriously, no butter, no cheese, no bacon? Puh-leez!
I don’t know about your parts of the world, but here in San Diego, tater tots have become rather trendy lately. Lots of restaurants are serving them lately, creating them as a feature side, served a number of different ways. I had them at one place recently where they were used in nachos as a substitute for chips. Think about that – potato nachos. If I had to choose just one word to describe them, it’s DELICIOUS! And as if I needed another reason to have a deep fryer, allow me to introduce you to my new favorite fried food:
Side note: I still have yet to actually purchase a deep fryer so if anyone has any recommendations on them, bring ‘em on!
Today you’re getting lucky people, I’m giving you a 2fer. 2 deliciously gooey, straight to the hips, comfort food at its best grilled cheese recipes. I love cheese and I love bread. Put them together and add some butter - now you’re talkin’!
SWEET & SAVORY GRILLED CHEESE
via Hornytoad Grilled Cheese Contest
- Select your bread of choice, though fresh white bread is best.
- Spread Dijon mustard on one side of both pieces of bread, and butter on other side (pan down side)
- Cut apples into slices (slightly thicker than potato chips) and pile onto bread in pan
- Add slices of cheese of your choice, though Dubliner is delish
- Add bacon
- Pile on more cheese
- Final layer of apples
- Put on final slice of bread and grill away
- Perfect with pickles and chips on the side
This recipe could easily be called a hundred different names, all equally as descriptive as its given one…Watch My Ass Grow, Muffin Top, Just Put it Back Here, Heart Attack in a Skillet, I Needed Some New Pants Anyway, More Cushin’ for the Pushin’, I could go on an on. And on. Let’s just agree to call it delicious.
EASY CHEESY BACON AND CHEESE BISCUITS
Hello delicious, come to mama! Why is it that when you are trying to eat healthy, all the bad stuff has halos and is all glittery like vampires in the sun? This sandwich right here has all the makings of comfort food. Bread, cheese, bacon and beer. What more could you ask for? Other than a smaller ass perhaps…
Thank you, Kirbie. Thank you very much.