Carbohydrate Friday: Sour Cream Cheese Bread!

Yay for Fridays! Bread, bread and more bread! Has anyone ever added sour cream to their bread recipes (even something like banana bread)? It’s quite amazeballs what a little sour cream can do for it. It makes it just the perfect amount of moist!

And in breaking news, I hate that word but couldn’t think of anything else to describe the quality sour cream gives it. So live with it. Moist.

Need to get somewhere fast? I know how.

photo: from The Telegraph via Getty

This morning I’m pretty sure I discovered a direct correlation between exercise and speeding. Not only that but I also figured out how to relieve stress, increase focus, AND have more energy. Simply: work the fuck out. And yes, it really is that simple.

I had another Ripped Body Boot Camp class this morning and went in stressed out as hell with the major grouchies. You see, I was lovingly awoken at 4:30 this morning by my cat who was pissing all over MY BEDROOM CARPET! So, as you can imagine, not exactly the way one would prefer to wake up if given the choice. Luckily, the boot camp is at an ungodly early hour of the day, so I was going to need to get up shortly anyhow. I figured I’d go to class, get it over and done with and move on with my day. However, I was expecting the grouchies to follow me around like a lost puppy for most of it.

So I dragged my ass to class and worked out haaaaard. Strangely, anger is a pretty good motivator to push yourself through exercise… The hour flew by, I was sweating like a whore in church and I pushed myself so hard that my legs were actually shaking on my way out the door. In the car, drive home, shower, shit and shave. Okay, not exactly in that order but you get the idea.

So I’m driving along on the freeway thinking to myself as one person after another cuts me off, “Man! People are really driving like shit this morning!” A couple more exits fly by and I happen to think that perhaps its ME who’s driving like shit as I’m weaving in and out of lanes trying to pass people. Next thing I know, I look down and I’m going 90 mph! NINETY! And what’s weird is I didn’t think I was going anywhere near that fast because I honestly felt like I was going slow. I drive a Honda Civic and I’m not Asian, so what the hell would I be racing for? So given those facts I decided that due to the extreme workout I had just completed I now had a lead foot, which unknowingly, caused me to speed. And thus, my scientific discovery was made. Check please.

But seriously, aside from somehow evading a speeding ticket, I noticed late this afternoon (as I’m stuffing my face with free nachos at my office) that I feel pretty damn great (might have been the nachos). Okay, maybe great is taking it a little too far. But good, really good. I normally get the afternoon sleepies around 3 o’clock and those were nowhere to be found. The grouchies did not follow me to work as I had originally expected. AND, I was actually able to focus on my work and get shit done today, which has proved to be rather difficult as of late. So then I thought … aside from the whole speeding thing, this boot camp is doing a hell of a number on me. In a good way! And that makes me happy :)

So even if I do drink beer and eat a loaf of cheese bread this weekend (in my fat pants), which will forever condemn me to only be skinny on the inside, I’m thankful for these classes and all the other stuff they are doing for me! I just need to stay away from the po po!

Goodness gracious, great balls of fire!

Been to Amazon’s website today? Well you should. And Apple should be afraid. Very afraid. Amazon has just announced, in a very diplomatic and appealing manner, the release of  not one, not two, not even three, but FOUR new Kindle models! And ALL of them are under $200! Take that stupidly overpriced iPad!

I have been admiring coveting the iPad from the sidelines since it came out but I cannot justify spending $500 on one. I have been seriously considering it more and more lately though simply for travel purposes. Especially since we are taking a trip to Thailand soon and I cannot bear to think about sitting through an 18 hour flight without one! So from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU Amazon, for fulfilling all my tablet wishes. I am the new, proud owner of the newest Kindle model – the Kindle Fire!

In addition to instant access to books, movies, TV, music and games, the Fire also features Amazon Silk – a revolutionary, cloud-accelerated web browser that uses a “split browser” architecture to leverage the computing speed and power of the Amazon Web Services cloud. In English – that means fast fucking web browsing! And not only that, with Fire you can forget about memory problems, this model gives you free storage for all your digital content in the Amazon Cloud so all your shit is instantly available to stream or download for free, simply at the touch of your finger.

This is my first tablet of any kind – reader included – and I feel giddy with anticipation to get it! Up until now I have been a traditional page-turning, paperback book kind of gal, but hey – when the price is right – you’ve got to do what Bob Barker says (okay, Drew Carey, whatever) … COME ON DOWN!  But you’d better hurry, the Fire is on pre-order to ship Nov. 15 and there is a waiting list forming! So go and go now to reserve your copy!

Side note: who already has a Kindle? Do you love it? What is your favorite thing about it? What do I need to know? Spill it!

If Jack is going out the back, and Gus is taking the bus, what’s Jane doing?

I’m guessing she’s gettin’ on a plane. And she’s using this flight card. Cuz’ she’s hip and cool and all designer-y.

Flight Card is a flight tracking application, it’s incredibly beautiful, simple and totally intuitive. Simply search for your flight by number or route, track it and share its status with your family and friends. Done and done.

 

Hey Asshole, get your shit together!

Ever have a bad day and then someone goes and does something to make it all that much worse? Yeah, me too. So for once, I’m following the age old advice of “if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” Instead, I’d like these lovely little notepads from Knock Knock to speak for me.

Hint: click the image to see all the deets!

Is it possible I’m thinner already?

So this is probably going to read a little bit like the diary of a fat girl, but what the hay (hey?) – you have to start somewhere. That’s me up there, holding a cheeseburger, talking about how I’m going to get skinny. Notice you don’t see the fries, which is merely because I’ve already eaten them. As I say every Friday, a lot of hard work and dedication went in to growing this ass. You aren’t just born with junk in your trunk, you’ve got to pack that shit in there! But no more dammit! DAMMIT, NO MORE!

You see, last week I joined a boot camp class – Ripped Body Bootcamp to be exact. The time for me to be a lazy, sloppy, muffin-top havin’, over-sized sweatshirt wearin’ fat ass is over. Over! Gravity is really getting me down these days, my fat pants are now simply “pants” and sucking in my gut makes my back hurt. And as someone recently told me, “Don’t wait until you feel like it. Just start!” And so I am.

But with as much trash talking as I do, I am not immune to exercise. Quite the opposite, really. A good workout is possibly the best stress reliever I’ve ever experienced. The more intense and spastic the movements, the better (think Elaine). I even ran a half marathon right around this time last year. And when I say ran, I mean I actually ran the whole thing – WITHOUT DYING! So me and exercise, we used to be tight. But after that fateful half last year, I fell off the wagon. I fell and fell hard, people!

I had some reservations about starting the classes as my mental picture of bootcamp was very military-esque, with lots of bullying, intimidation and yelling. Much to my surprise, however, my fears were eased almost instantly. The trainers are a super friendly, upbeat, adorable young married couple and the other ladies in the class are actually real people. Real, authentic women with weight/food/body image struggles just like mine. And the best part of the class? No one yelled at me! So what was the best part was also the most surprising. Ripped Body is a very non-traditional type of bootcamp. It was warm, inviting and felt safe.

Classes are just getting underway and they are held at an unholy hour of the day, long before the sun even considers rising! But I’m already up early (earlier than you’d care to know or I’d care to be), so I figure what’s an extra hour, right? Besides, if I get up, do it, then it will be done and I’ll have the whole rest of the day to do everything & anything else! Sounds great, right? It totally is, and I’m actually starting to feel a little obsessive about the whole exercise part of it already. Like, classes are 3 days a week and I’m wishing they were 4. Or even 5!

However, I’d like to remind you of my little carbohydrate problem, which has pretty much got a choke hold on me these days. I am old enough to know that being physically fit comes from a mixture of diet and exercise, but what I can’t figure out is how to get control of the whole diet part of that equation. I was raised on food. Celebrations – we ate. Vacations – we ate. Holidays – we ate. Happy times/sad time – we ate. When we were eating – we planned what we would eat next. And each meal needed to have 3 things – a meat or protein, a veggie, and a starch, with the starch being the largest, most obviously delicious, and most important item. That’s the way I was raised as a child and how I now live my life as an adult. I love food. I love the act of eating. I love cooking, smelling and even shopping for food. So you can see that I’ve got my work cut out for me with this whole “let’s not be a fat ass” thing.

But as much as I want to look hungry and have people whisper behind my back that someone should feed me a sandwich, I need to be realistic and know that is never going to happen. I will exercise, I will workout, sometimes religiously. But I’m also going to eat. And I’m going to eat potatoes and I’m going to eat bread. Because I enjoy it and that’s what life’s all about.

But dear God, fat ass, for the love of all that is holy, would you learn some portion control!?!?

The Book of Awesome is … well, awesome.

Snow days, finding money in a pocket you didn’t know you had, the smell of fresh rain baked bread, that first hot cup of morning coffee … these are really simple things that most of us take for granted on a daily basis. They are also really awesome things. I wrote about 1000 Awesome Things around this time back in 2009, when the project had been around for about a year. Neil Pasricha is the genius behind it and is kind of like the guru of small joys. What he started on his blog, has now made it into book form as The Book of Awesome. Some entries in the book are short and others quite lengthy, told as wonderfully funny and astutely observant tales.

Life can be incredibly overwhelming at times and this book is special in that it helps you see the small things that really do mean a lot. Simple joys by themselves can get lost in the shuffle, but put them all together (as in this book) and you’ve got plenty of things to brighten just about any day. And if 1000 awesome things isn’t enough, get more with Neil’s second book, The Book of (Even More) Awesome Things!

I am really looking forward to adding this book to my shelf. I may even use it as a coffee table book for a while. Or maybe even a bathroom book (TMI?). Small pleasures for me are putting on socks fresh from the dryer when its cold outside, waking up to find the coffee is already made, the smell of chocolate chip cookies baking; I could go on for days.

What simple pleasures get you going?

Tree of Life

Ok, so this poster doesn’t have any words of wisdom or uplifting messages, or even any pretty typography for that matter. But it doesn’t lessen the fact that I NEED IT! The Tree of Life as it’s aptly named, wants to put focus on habitat conservation and restoration. It aims to highlight the responsibility we have in letting animal species thrive in their natural environment. The poster was designed to replicate the effect of a rubber stamp, making each piece uniquely individual. The designers ask you to take note that this is not a defect but rather, completely intentional, making it not only one-of-a-kind, but also a well thought out, spectacularly creative design.

Carbohydrate Friday: Caramel Apple Dip!

This dish could easily serve as an appetizer or a dessert. Or, if you’re like me, a meal in itself. With wine, of course. Whatever you choose to serve it, you’ll be saying “Shut you whore mouth, this is GOOD!”

I’m not a list-maker, but if I were, you can bet I’d keep them in here.

Nuff said.

via Cool Material